


Crossing Over Rivers

by crudescere



Category: GOT7
Genre: I promise!!!, M/M, POV First Person, POV Second Person, Timelines, someone will die here, this isn't angsty, youve been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-18 08:27:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21591454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crudescere/pseuds/crudescere
Summary: Against any current, always headed towards where my heart is.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Jackson Wang
Comments: 24
Kudos: 64





	Crossing Over Rivers

_v._

It is a nice day – sun shining bright and its rays warming my skin, a smile creeping up my face. It is a relief that the weather decided to answer my prayers after a weeklong of torrential rain. I hate rain, I hate storms. They’re loud and cold. My mother forbids me to leave the house when it’s loud and cold outside, says that it’s not safe. Especially for me. I don’t know what she means by that but what I do know is that I hate rain. It makes me sad.

But today is a nice day and I’m happy. My mother also forbids me to walk far from the house but it is a nice day. Surely, a little bit of walking farther down the clump of trees from my usual playing space would be okay. I don’t want to make my mother sad but the sun is still shining so bright and the sky is so clear – and there’s a river up ahead that my father showed me once when I was still five years old. That was two years ago. It’s a really nice day and the thought of seeing the clear rushing waters and the fishes swimming in it make my skin tingle with excitement.

So trusting my memory and instincts, I venture out towards the other side of the forest. My father said that I have good hunting skills when I helped him catch fish during that time, two years ago. I wonder if I still have the talent. I think I do.

The forest seems to go on no matter how far I walk – trees, tall and big as the buildings I see in my father’s computer, completely surround me, and fallen leaves and flowers make a soft carpet over the forest floor. The air smells so clean and the shade from the harsh sun is comforting. Stopping and staying under the lush growth of mother nature sound appealing and I almost stopped and stayed. But then a faint rush and rumble reached my ears and I hurried my feet – the river.

The day has been the best so far in weeks but I don’t think anything can top it. Ever. Even if tomorrow brings a brighter sun and clearer skies, the moment I saw him, I knew my life has changed for the better too.

I notice that his pants was rolled halfway up his leg and he has both hands plunged deep in the river. In fact, he is knee deep in the water, braving the strong current that challenges his small frame. I say small but my eyesight is good enough to see that I am smaller than him – only a little though. My mother says I’m perfect, anyways. And honestly, it was the first time in _years_ that I saw someone around my age that I just halted on my steps and stared. I don’t make a sound. My father always spooks my mother by creeping up and speaking out of nowhere; she always jumps and loses her balance. I don’t want that to happen to him. There are rocks, sharp, sharp rocks under his feet. It’s dangerous.

So I keep quiet, silently observing him. But I must have not been quiet enough. 

“Who are you?”

_iv._

“I wish you could meet him,” I tell my mother. It’s been years since I met him but my parents haven’t seen him yet. I keep asking my parents to come to the river with me everytime. Five thirty in the afternoon, everyday. That is our meeting time since he has school and it takes thirty minutes for him to get to the river. It’s just four fifteen, the sun still high in the sky. But I don’t mind the wait. Never. 

“You know I can’t, I have to prepare dinner. If only it’s at another time.”

I put on my socks and pad to my mother who is sitting by the dining table. I take a glass out of the rack and fill it with water before sitting beside her. “He’s at school all day and goes to cram school during weekends. He says getting into high school is tough.”

I shrug. I’ll never know how tough school is. Not in this condition. I want to though. Sometimes, when I wait for him at the riverbanks, I want – a normal high school experience, to be his friend outside the confines of our special place, to be seen with him.

“Mom?” I ask, feeling a dull ache in my chest. There’s no harm in trying, anyways. The want has become loud in my head again. “Can I attend high school?”

I hate the pity in my mother’s eyes. I know the risks. I know it would be hard. But I also want. 

“We’ve talked about this.”

“Please? Even for a bit? Maybe I can drop PE classes. Maybe dad or you can drive and pick me up from school so I won’t tire out.”

I just want to spend more and more time with him. I want to see the world he gets to see. “I’ll be careful?”

The loud alarm from my phone snaps both me and my mother. Shoot, I’ve lost track of time. If I don’t go now, I’ll have to run. I can’t run. 

“Think about it, mom.”

I walk the same path I walked for years. I could probably cross the lush forest even with my eyes closed. The melody of twigs snapping and leaves crumbling under my feet is familiar, music to my ears. As is the rush of the river. Even the air in these parts of the clearing is familiar. Sweet from the flowers and memories. 

I roll up the hem of my pants mid calf, the way he did when we first met, and dip my feet in the refreshing water – leaning back and basking in the serenity the place never failed to provide. The chirping of the birds, the buzzing of bees, the rustling of leaves. There’s life surrounding all around, I remind myself. I should be content. 

I hear the flow of water getting interrupted. I smile. He’s here. I keep my eyes closed. 

“Hey.”

“Hey,” I greet back. 

I feel him sit beside me, shoulders bumping and thighs pressing. 

“How was school?”

“Boring.”

I hum. I have a thousand things running in my head but they’re all buried under the conversation I had with my mother. Ah, I still want. 

“Do you think it would be less boring if I go to school with you?”

I can almost hear him thinking, the atmosphere changing. I’m scared – of his reaction, of hoping for something that is near impossible. I keep my eyes closed.

I hear him say my name, urging me to look at him. I feel the way his hand covers mine. It’s about the same size as mine but his is rough. Scars all over – I would know. I keep on tending the broken skin over his knuckles at least once a week. He keeps getting into fights. I worry about him.

But his hand is warm. He’s always warm. He makes me feel warm.

“School would definitely be fun with you around.”

_iii._

I hear another name spill out of his lips. Mark. I’m bad at managing emotions when it comes to him. I reacted so bad when I met Jinyoung. I can’t help but feel that he’s a better friend to him. It took months for me to get it. That Jinyoung isn’t taking him away from me. It’s hard. Seeing him be surrounded by people I don’t know, knowing that they can spend endless time with him without worries. It makes me upset that I only have him while he has others. It makes me feel dispensable. Easily forgettable.

And now there is another one. Mark.

I know that he has a bright future ahead of him. One without me. Far away from this clearing and river. But what can I do when he’s the only person I have aside from my parents?

It makes me think – for how long will he be crossing this wild waters?

“Mark, huh? You’re replacing Jinyoung?” I said carelessly. It’s too late to take it back.

“What does that mean?”

My hands feel clammy all of a sudden. I have never heard him talk to me with this biting tone before. Maybe I crossed a line. I can’t lose him over something as stupid as this. I only have him. But I feel so helpless.

I shrug, trying to appear collected and save myself from coming off as too clingy. “You found another friend now that Jinyoung’s at a different college?”

“No? I didn’t replace Jinyoung if that’s what you’re asking.”

Awkward silence. After literal years of hanging out, we have never been awkward. I wiggle my toes that caught a loose leaf. It’s summer but the sun isn’t comforting. The warmth irritates me.

I sigh. There’s no use in keeping faces. I stand up, dusting the back of my shorts off tiny rocks and leaves. My slippers are somewhere around, probably behind the rock I was sitting on.

“Where are you going?”

I frown. I can feel a confrontation brewing. I’ve never been good at confrontations. 

“Home.”

Suddenly, I see his face close to mine. My wrist in his bruising grip. I almost slipped and fell back. I’m caught off guard. 

“What the hell is your problem?” I exclaimed. I can feel my heart pounding out of my chest. It hurts. I willed my myself to calm down. I can’t faint now. God, I can’t faint now. 

“Why are you leaving? We weren’t able to meet last week! Why are you going home now of all times?”

I feel guilty for cancelling on him the previous weekend but I was in the hospital at that time. I don’t mind that he didn’t visit. I know he’s busy with college, making friends and completing coursework. College is a whole different game than high school, I’m aware of that. 

“Let me go.”

“No.”

I averted my gaze. I can’t look at him in the eyes. How had the situation escalated to this? 

“You’re upset. Why are you upset?”

I don’t know why but I can’t tell him that. I don’t want to be irrational. I don’t want to be annoying. I just want to go home. I should have stayed in bed today like how my mother told me. She always knows the best for me. I should have listened. 

I look at the ground, finding balance within myself. It’s starting to get difficult to breath. 

I can see that the hem of his shorts is still damp. We have grown over the years, we aren’t kids anymore. But the water still reaches our thighs. 

I still wait for him to cross the river from the other side. 

“You have a new friend.”

“And? Is that supposed to be a bad thing?”

It’s not. I know, I know. I should have just shut my mouth. Maybe if I had other friends too, this wouldn’t be an issue. But the people at the support group my parents put me in aren’t him. They help me, they’re good people. But they’re not him. 

“I don’t want you to forget me.” There’s no stopping now that I’ve decided to come clean. It’s better for the both of us. My mother says that honesty is essential in relationships. That’s what my doctor said too. She’s always honest. Even if it makes my parents cry. 

“You’re meeting all these new people and making friends. And that’s a good thing. You have your life outside of this,” I gesture to the woods encircling us, “But I don’t want you to go far away and forget me.”

“You’re silly.”

And then I’m kissing him. I don’t know what is happening but his lips are on mine and his grip on my wrist is only becoming tighter and tighter. I can feel my heart stopping. 

Funnily enough, I don’t mind it stopping this time. 

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he leaned in and sealed our lips together. I should be mad but I’m not. Frankly, I feel special. Maybe I’m not going to be easily cast aside. Even if he makes friends, hundreds of them, even if he meets new people – maybe I’m still going to be the first in the list. 

“Why did you do that?” I asked. My thoughts need confirmation. 

“You think I’d cross this river every time for the past twelve years just for anyone?”

_ii._

I’m excited. I have a lot of things I want to share with him. I went to a support group session and I met a lot of people like me, befriended two.

There’s Bambam who flew all the way from Thailand because the technology isn’t available there to heal him. I’m still not sure what’s wrong with him but he’s a good kid, three years younger than me. It’s fun to have someone to take care of. All this time, I’ve always been the one taken care of. By my parents and by him. It’s nice to be a hyung. I love being a hyung. 

There’s also this another younger kid. Same age as Bambam. He’s Yugyeom. He was born with a rapidly growing skeleton. Too quick for his age and the rest of his body. His organs couldn’t keep up. He has heart and liver diseases. Some more organs are affected but Yugyeom doesn’t like talking about it. He’s a happy and lively kid. He and Bambam both. They’re like my younger brothers already. 

Being a hyung is great. 

That’s why I don’t understand why he’s fuming right now. He should be happy I’m making friends, right? That I’m learning to not depend on him too much. I don’t want to be a burden.

“You’re losing sleep over them!”

I don’t like the way he’s glaring at me. Sure, the doctor is keeping me admitted more frequently now than she did before but Bambam’s and Yugyeom’s rooms are just a hallway down. I want to be a good hyung. I want to be remembered. 

“You won’t let me visit you! And then I hear from your mom that you aren’t resting like you should!”

I feel hot tears pricking my eyes. I’m just trying to live the best that I can. I hate being cooped up in a hospital room, with nothing but white walls and white ceilings and white sheets. I’m not even allowed to take a stroll outside without my mother. 

I just want to have purpose. And I found it in taking care of Bambam and Yugyeom. 

I don’t want him angry at me. But I also don’t want him to see me when I’m confined in that white ugly room. I don’t want him to be sorry for me. 

“Don’t get mad, please.” I hope he understands me. I’m scared. I think I have an expiration date. 

“I just worry about you. So much. If you would just let me take care of you.”

I can feel the way he’s holding himself back. Holding himself back from lashing out again. He knows I hate arguments. But it still stands that I’m holding him back. 

I’ve come to the realization, not long ago, that I’m keeping him from a lot of things. I’m the reason why he’s stuck to this little town, not daring to see the bigger things in life. I’m the one tying him to this place. I’m always holding him back. I don’t want that. I want him to be free. I’m not his obligation. I don’t want to be anybody’s obligation. 

“You do. And that’s enough. My mom is there. My doctor is there. My dad visits when he’s not working too. You shouldn’t worry.”

“But I do! I want to be there with you when you’re suffering the most.”

I kicked a pebble and it fell into the water – pushed around by the current, hitting larger rocks and losing its way. Just like me. 

“I’m out of that place today, anyways. You don’t have to be so protective, you know? I wouldn’t just keel over.” 

I see the gears in his head whirring, thinking how to persuade me to lift the ban. To allow him in. But no, I don’t ever want to be seen in that state, when I’m in that stark white room, being prodded and examined. I don’t want to be seen by him. I don’t want him to see me like that.

“I promise to tell you when I’m dying, alright?”

I should have known that those aren’t the right words. That those hurt. I never want to hurt someone. Especially him. I hate myself. I know how it is to hurt. To be alienated and alone. I don’t want to hurt him. 

“Why would you fucking say that!”

I flinch. It’s the first time he cursed at me. I must be really wrong this time. 

“Fine! If you won’t listen to me, then what’s the purpose of this. What’s the point of me crossing this river to get to you?”

I panic. I watch him get up and swim, braving the harsh river to get _away_ from me. I’m going to cry. What have I done? 

“Where are you going?”

“Getting away from you before you keel over, obviously.”

I feel a sudden sharp sting in my chest. Like a bullet hitting right through the center of my damaged heart, ripping me apart. What have I done?

I called out to him numerous times but he didn’t look back. 

I’m left with the raging river. With a bleeding heart. I’m left alone as I watch him walk away. 

_i._

I choke as another painful sensation slam at me. I fall on the ground. I haven’t even gotten far from the house, my mother’s flowers lay near my fingertips as I try to stand up. But no, the pain is intolerable. It’s the worse I’ve had so far. I’m scared. So so scared.

He’s waiting for me. If he has forgiven me then he’d definitely be there. I need to go.

“Son!”

I hear my mom scream my name. I feel my heart stop beating. God, not now. Why is this happening now?

My head hurt, from the hit on the ground or from the lack of oxygen, I’ll never know. My face is tingling and water is seeping out from my eyes. This can’t be it. He will get mad at me for standing him up! 

My mom screams at me but it’s the rushing of the river that I hear. It’s the splash of water from his strokes to get to me that I hear.

_v._

You stood and shouted your name. It didn’t make you staring at me okay but your smile was something else. I had been half drowning in the river for a while and your presence brought me out of my fruitless attempts at catching fish.

“Do you live here?” You asked and even though I found it weird, I was curious. You looked younger than me. What was a kid doing in the woods alone?

“Yes.”

You broke out into the prettiest smile I had seen – on boys and girls, in both my town and school. Even prettier than the boy in my class named Jinyoung. You had this ethereal aura around you, something that dulled the sound of the loud river water that hurt my ear. At that moment, when your eyes were wide with glee, sunlight reflecting off from them, I felt peace. It was odd. Where have you been all this time? I was sure you didn’t attend my school, a face like yours – so pretty. I wouldn’t have missed that. 

You started walking towards me, dipping your foot into the strong current. You shivered from the coolness of it. 

“It’s cold!” You screamed, withdrawing your foot back. “How are you staying there? It’s cold!”

You pouted, and I felt something fluttered in my chest. My great grandfather had heart disease, maybe I had one too. 

“Don’t move. Stay there.”

You huffed and sat on a huge rock by the riverbed, and held out a hand for me. There was still some distance from me to you and the river tide was making it hard to cross over – but over the span of five minutes that it took, you never brought your hand down. 

“Hold my hand! It’s slippery here. My dad once fell and he bled. I don’t want you to be hurt.” You grasped my hand tightly and pulled me towards your side. 

You sat beside me in complete comfort, as if we weren’t strangers. You were blowing dandelions to the air – dandelions that you asked me to pick for you. Ten, no, maybe twenty of those pretty dainty white flowers. But not prettier than you. 

“Where’s your house?” You asked and frowned when I pointed out where I lived, across from the other side where you came from. Separated by this river. “I live on the other side, at the clearing after the forest. Will I see you again?”

You looked saddened at the thought of us not seeing each other again. 

You were only a few months younger than me, I found out. For some reason, you don’t go to school. You had no friends your age, you made me promise to be your friend. 

You also made me promise another thing – out of my own will, of course. 

“Of course.”

You took my hand in yours, the tiny white flowers set aside. At there was that smile again. 

“Of course, you’ll see me. We’re friends now, aren’t we?” You threw yourself on me, you hugged me like how my mother did. You were warm and happy. 

“I’ll cross this river for you anytime. I promise.”

_iv._

You suddenly appeared at the corridor across my classroom. You seemed like an apparition, a mirage. Your presence in my high school, the one you said I would get into no matter what, seemed like a dream.

But you saw me, and there was that smile again. Over the years, it has made its permanent place in my mind. You made a permanent place in my mind.

You walked towards me, against the current of high school students rushing to the cafeteria, with that little jump in your step. You were always vibrant, an enthusiastic person. You brought shades of color in my otherwise mundane existence. 

You waved your hand jovially and shouted my name. You bumped into people but you didn’t care. You clutched on your backpack with your one hand like it’s a lifeline. Your other hand – it was reaching out for me. Always, always reaching out for me.

It might not be our river, but the current of people resembled the rushing waters I waded over the years to get to you.

“You’re here.”

You beamed and interlaced our fingers. “Show me where the cafeteria is! I’m starving.”

“What are you doing here?”

“To make your high school life fun, duh!”

Needless to say, you did make my freshman year fun. Well, sometimes you made it difficult – you were difficult. But you were a force to be reckoned with. No one stood a chance when it came to you. You made it sure I wouldn’t be able to stand a chance against you.

You brought your mom to school and after a talk with the principal, you were placed in my class, right beside me. Your mom was nice. You got your pretty smile from her. And your eyes too. So, so beautiful.

You met Jinyoung. You didn’t like him at first. It was weird. Jinyoung was nice and you were friendly to everyone. After a few months though, you and him got along which was such a relief. Jinyoung was my closest friend at school. He kept me out of trouble most of the time. You should really thank him. You always complained about my bruises and wounds, always nagged about how fighting was bad. 

You were better than Jinyoung though. Always better than everyone else.

But that didn’t erase the fact that you were a handful. For someone who didn’t engage in fights, you visited the school infirmary more often than reckless kids. You made me worry every time. Your smile that slowly became an addiction always faded whenever you were resting instead of sitting in lectures. You skipped all physical activities in school. You sit at the sidelines, watching and cheering but never participating.

You said it was okay. That it was still fun.

It wasn’t okay. Especially that day when you did not turn up at school. You didn’t answer my texts, my calls. You didn’t show up at our river that weekend. You were the one who suggested that we shift our river hang outs on the weekends. You said we’re seeing each other everyday at school anyways.

But you didn’t show up for a week. And you didn’t show up that weekend too. You really were difficult.

But you weren’t heartless. No, never. So you returned after a week of disappearing on me. You went to school but you weren’t in uniform. You looked sad.

“Stop being mad at me. I didn’t mean to disappear on you,” you apologized. “I swear, I asked for my phone but mom wouldn’t give it to me no matter what.”

“Where were you? Where did you go that you can’t even send me a short text? I waited for you. At the river but you didn’t show up.”

The defeated expression you wore tugged at my chest. You looked like you were on the verge of crying. You appeared to be breaking inside. You grabbed the hem of my shirt, looking frightened. You didn’t have to be scared of me.

“I’m dropping out of school. My doctor said I can’t go with you anymore. I’m sorry.”

You shouldn’t have said sorry. You shouldn’t have to be in pain on your own.

“You were in the hospital? You should’ve told me!”

You looked so sorry. The world was so unfair to beautiful, kind people.

“We could still meet. At the river. If you still want?”

“You couldn’t get rid of me that easily.”

You seemed surprised at my words. You had doubts in your eyes. You shouldn’t second guess our friendship.

“Are you sure? Even if I can’t cross the river to your side?”

You sounded so insecure. You shouldn’t be.

“I’ll swim any river. Across whatever current. To get to you. Always.”

_iii._

You had to be the densest person on the planet. You really had no idea that you have been the most important person to me for a while now. Even Jinyoung whom I knew for a year longer than you didn’t compare. And you thought Mark could take your place? 

You were impossible. You thrived in making me suffer, even if you did it unconsciously. 

You tasted so much sweeter than I imagined that first time I couldn’t stop myself and took your lips to mine. You made me lose control but it was worth it. You’re always worth it. Your pretty lips, they didn’t disappoint. And the look on your face after our lips touched – you were an angel. You looked shocked and almost offended, you had the right to for no permission was given, but you still were the most beautiful person to me. Inside and out, you radiated light. You should know but you didn’t. You shouldn’t be worried of others. They don’t compare to you. 

Even the river that we spent our days growing up, it didn’t compare to the force that you were. 

“You mean that?” You directed those brilliant black orbs at me. They reflected the sun's rays. You really were heaven sent. 

You froze up when my arms found their way securely around you. Your heart was beating too loud. You worry me. You always worry me. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just, I feel like I’m going to explode,” you chuckled. “But are you serious? Do you really mean that?”

Of course, there was no other answer. You deserved to be loved and cherished. Nothing more, nothing less. 

You just made everything better. As simple as that. As simple as you existing. 

“As long as you’re there to wait for me at the bank, I’m always going to swim.”

_ii._

You infuriated me. That time, after being denied visitation rights to you, after almost kicking the hospital doors down, after worrying about you excruciatingly – you said the forbidden words. 

You never talked about your condition. You never liked sharing your burdens. You infuriated me when you did that. How was it not clear to you that you are my light? When you dulled, everything else did too. You didn’t have to suffer alone. You have me. But you also made me livid at that time. You hurt me. And you got hurt too.

You always did bring out the best and worst parts of me. Only you have that power. You, always you. It was like you had me at the palm of your hands, commanding me through strings like a marionette. 

Jinyoung got furious when he found out. You did have the ability to make everyone fall for you. Jinyoung didn’t stand a chance too.

“Why did you leave him there? Are you stupid? He must be scared, you moron!”

“He didn’t have to make _that_ joke. It isn’t a joking matter, Jinyoung.”

“He was trying to make you feel better!”

Maybe you did. Maybe that was your intention at that time. But it didn’t. You made me truly hate. No not you, never you. You made me loathe this world for being so unfair. Why did it have to be you?

You must have incited envy amongst the stars that they wanted you out of the picture. You must have shone brighter than them. You must have eclipsed their beauty that they wanted to take you far away from me.

You always asked me to cross the raging waters. You always waited patiently at the other side. You said you would have swam but your mother strictly forbade you to. 

You really pissed me off that day. 

_i._

You really liked to test my patience. That was something that no one else did. You pushed me to my limits until everything was a mess. You didn’t even stick around to clean it up. You always left the cleanup to me.

Ever since that day, twelve years go, when you ordered me to gather flowers to entertain you. You always asked things of me but only when you thought it wasn’t a real bother. You should have known, you would never feel like a bother to me. Even if you pushed all of my buttons, you were still the prettiest thing I laid my eyes on.

You were beautiful in and out, generous to a fault. You even picked up another kid to take care of. Youngjae, you said was his name. You lit up talking about how he was such a brave boy. But what you didn’t know was that you were braver than him. Braver than anyone else. 

You were many things but I didn’t expect you to be a liar.

You told me you’d warn me when you feel it coming. You said you’d tell me so that I could prepare. But you didn’t.

Your mom called me, sobbed and wailed. She held me tight, but not tighter than you did throughout the years. She told me about you.

And God, did I hate you at that time.

You really loved pushing my buttons, testing me until I was vibrating with anger. This should be the last time you’re doing this to me. You should have known that I have my limits.

After this, you can’t order me around anymore.

But if there was one thing you never fail to do, it was that you were always there waiting for me to cross the body of water that has been our special place for years.

You never failed to reach your arms out for me, waiting for me to cross the daunting waters.

And this time shouldn’t be all that different. You must be waiting for me, again.

With your hand thrusted out. And with that blinding smile. That smile that you hide whenever you hear me say the three words your father says to your mother.

_∞._

I see him going into the water. I scream for him not to.

I’m horrified. Why would he do this? No, he can’t do this for me. 

“Stop! Don’t come near me!”

I scream and scream but he doesn’t seem to hear me. He plows against the raging current, determination in his movements. The river is particularly harsh today. But he doesn’t seem to mind. I do mind. I don’t want him to cross the water. Not this time. 

I would never ask that of him. 

Tears started flowing down my face. I don’t deserve him. 

I love him. 

_∞._

“Why are you crying?” 

You respond by hitting me hard in the chest. Crying doesn’t suit you. You should always be smiling. 

“Why did you do that? You’re stupid!”

“I told you, didn’t I? That I would always come for you as long as you’re at the other side waiting for me.” 

You hit me harder in the chest. You seriously are a handful. 

“I will always swim to you. I will cross any river for you, my angel.”

_0._

Jinyoung hated Jaebeom. He didn’t understand why his friend would do such a thing. He can see Mark from the periphery of his vision crying hot tears, looking like a mess. For sure he looked the same. 

He hoped Jaebeom’s happy. God, he should be happy after doing such a thing. Or else, Jinyoung would personally bring him back and beat his ass black and blue. 

He clenched his fists, wanting to punch something. Jaebeom was such an idiot. But he was an idiot in love. 

So for now, Jinyoung settled with glaring at the pair of tombstone in front of him. A pair that said in bold swirling letters:

Jackson Wang

(1994-2019)

“Live to the fullest, for life is all too short.”

Jaebeom Lim

(1994-2019)

“Against any current, always headed towards where my heart is.”

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!! so this is my first jackbeom fic and i tried a VERY different writing style for this. what do you think? is it any good? if it confused you, Jackson's is 1st pov and Jaebeom's is 2nd. Also, the roman numerals are within the same timeline.  
> well, anyways, THANK YOU FOR READING! kudos and comments are very much appreciated :)))


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